You know all that unwanted parenting advice you receive when you’re pregnant?
Well, there is a lot they forget to mention:
I openly asked my Social Media their options, and I learned that, I was not alone in my thoughts… So, hopefully other mommas will benefit from my top 10:
No one tells you how much you’re going to worry about you’re kids. About their safety, their needs, their wants, even their worries. I often worry if they’re going to survive the mental break they are about to cause me to have…But, Motherhood brought a whole new kind of worry I didn’t know was possible. That only a parent could understand!
2. The AFTER Birth:
See you’re told about labor, the pain of, even horror stories about it… But, No One Told me about after, after is where all the real fun begins… I wasn’t told there would pain, when it was over…and I mean lots of pain. (It gets worse after each one) No One mentioned I’d still look six months pregnant leaving the hospital, or that the first bowl movement after delivery is a lot like riding a roller coaster when the track breaks, you just KNOW this is it… this is how your life ends. I was not told of the giant underwear id be given and have to wear, because clearly you don’t lose enough blood during child birth, your body wants to live on the edge, and see how much more you can go without. And, added fun fact: Laughing and Sneezing is now Dangerous… no one told me I would probably pee myself a little, often!
3. The Second Child:
No One told me that all children are different, and that my other children….more specifically my second child, would be NOTHING like my first born. The mass destruction that one little human could…and will, do. While my first born is playing a game, or reading a book, the Sour-Patch kid has a crayon in each hand pretending to be Picasso as he runs up the stairs. Only to then break and smear an entire carton of eggs in his carpet, that he grabbed and snuck by me as I’m cleaning off his Crayon fun! There are not enough straps, gates, or locks to contain this child. No one told me to expect all this…
4. You’ll Never be on Time, or make a Quick Trip to the Store…Again:
….Ever! It won’t happen, you can plan to leave 45 minutes early, but you’ll still be late. And, no one warned me that “running to the store” was a luxury Id soon miss. I mean there IS running… it’s just that it’s a toddler with one shoe on and in the front yard. While you’re yelling “get in the car” for the 10th time, all while trying to buckle another kid in the car who is performing moves only ever seen in an exorcism. But, if you’re lucky after about 30 minutes..but not before the neighbors all know you’re crazy… it’s over, and you’re on your way!
Nope, Calm Down! When you get back home, you get to relive the whole fun experience, just to get them inside. This right here is why I KNOW there is a Starbucks inside of Target! A Mother did that! She knew we’d need it when we got there! It’s there for these days!
5. Breastfeeding: (the Touchy Subject):
You hear how good it is for baby, what a bonding experience it is, how it’s a experience you’ll never forget.. We’ll, I guess maybe that last part is true too. You’ll never forget how HARD it is, what a full time job it is, how mentally exhausting it can be, the physical pain you’re in, or the emotional turmoil you can…& probably will endure if you just CANT do it, because you’re told “you’re supposed to!” But it IS OKAY that you don’t, that you can’t or that you don’t want too.. Just because it works for some mommas doesn’t mean that it will for you! No one is a better mother for your child than you!
Okay, so they do say “sleep now before the baby comes.” But, no one says WHY. No one told me there was something called Cluster Feeding.. Where baby needs to eat every hour… on the hour… 24 hours a day…for months. Or that some kids even as toddlers wake up in the middle of the night. Or you’ll toss and turn often because even though you’re exhausted, you don’t want to miss a cry if they need you. People say “Sleep when Baby Sleeps” ….that’s a great idea Karen, Should I do laundry, or cook, or clean…or maybe take care of siblings when baby does that too? It’s not that simple, but no one tells you that part! If you’re going to talk about the sleep situation just be honest: “Listen, you’re not gonna sleep for years, buy a cute coffee mug. You’re gonna need it!”
7. A Clean Home and Nice Things, are a Thing of the Past:
No one said it would be impossible to ever have a clean home with multiple children. Or that all my nice cute furniture would be long gone. I can now only buy leather.. (Couches, Cars, Id buy leather beds if I could too.) Because, these kids are programmed to ruin anything nice….anything.
There is candle wax on my wall, sharpie on a door, 800 Lego blocks under the couch, shredded toilet paper on the stairs, and tooth paste on the bathroom walls. This is all only after spending hours cleaning…Yesterday! I wasn’t prepared for this level of chaos.
Oh Yeah, it’s a thing! It’s a sport for some moms now… no one warned me about this! They are everywhere, they just pop up after delivery of your child. Telling you how everything you’re doing is wrong… how you dress your kid, their haircut…and god forbid you feed your kid “wrong.” I don’t know what kind of drugs are in Prenatal Vitamins these days, but it’s like somehow over the course of their pregnancy they become expert moms, on not only their child…but, yours too! And are dying to tell you, how horribly wrong you are!
IGNORE those people!!
All that Kale is must be making them grumpy….
Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you’re not doing a good job. Only you can do what is best for your child. We’re all out here doing the best we can, even if some people want to play pretend on Social Media!
9. The First week of Parenthood, is a lot like Hazing week at a Fraternity:
No one told me about all the screaming and crying, and that’s just coming from you… There is bodily fluids, everywhere.. But, mostly ON you. The term “Blow Out” now has a whole new meaning. It now means that your first born has had a massive poop blowout, in his car seat, all the way up his back to his hair. With 45 minutes left to your destination, with not a single pair of clothes, or any one to help you. So you’re left caring a crying baby with only a diaper and socks on, inside the store to buy new clothes.
…Yep! That’s a true story!
The first time my husband changed our sons diaper, our son peed on him…then to throwing up in my husbands mouth as he picked him up!
No one address these awful experiences.
10. You are Enough:
No one tells you that you’re going to be a wonderful parent! They give advice, tell you what not-to-do, and even say encouraging words. But, not enough are moms told how wonderful they’re going to be. And that you ARE enough! There is so much stress on being a “Perfect Parent” that what is important is over looked.
. ”Kids don’t need Perfect parents, they need Happy Parents.”
In your child’s eyes, you’re more than enough. They depend on you, to care for them, to love them, to teach them…& to just be there for them. And, Moms should be told more: You’re going to do a Great Job, and you are enough!
Parenting has a lot of ups, and downs. Both good and bad moments. And, as much as I wasn’t fully prepared for most of this journey. It’s also rewarding in a way that could never be replaced with anything else. And even though I do often wonder: the Black Market Value of my children, I wouldn’t trade them, ..or Motherhood for anything. …Well…
No, No… Never mind. Not for anything!
With Love and Coffee, Becca Ann
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