It’s not always Easy, but it’s not for you.
Don’t think I’m going to give some expert advice, because I’m not..
But, I am writing a blog about the thing no one wants to talk about that we should be talking about more. This is simply my option and our journey. I’ll be transparent, and honest!
My oldest son, is not really my husbands biological child..(the sour-patch kid is clearly his fault) with that said, he absolutely treats him like he is! My sons father and I where together six years, young. I like to explain it like this: we grew up, and apart together.
Co-Parenting has been a journey for sure. I’d be lying if I said it’s all butterflies and rainbows. And, Like most parents we haven’t always agreed on parenting methods. But, see we are no longer together so the need to please the other, wasn’t there either… However, no matter what the disagreement was it never found its way to our child. Neither of us has ever used our son against the other, because no matter our differences, what we DO have in common is our Son. But, now fast forward a few years, two more babies later, my husband and I have created a beautiful family we live everyday…except every other weekend.
The majority of my sons life, his father has been in the NAVY making their times together only a few times a year, until recently…
Co-Parenting only a few times a year is easy, I mean all I’d have to say is: “Don’t break it and return it when you’re done!” Things where simple, easy…things where different. Now his dad is close enough to get him every other weekend! Awesome! Wait… I have to share now? How do I do that? You have rules at your home? I make the rules though? (If you know me, it’s possible I’m a bit of a control freak, so maybe this was a bit difficult at first) But, the truth is Co-Parenting is about putting your child FIRST. Even if you want to troat punch the other parent from time to time! The only thing truly important is the happiness of your child, you both Love. I am by no means an expert in the situation, but I can say we know our son is our common ground. For example: we do our sons Birthday Parties together. Now, I’m sure kids who get to have two parties enjoy double the fun! But, what I think is more important than that, is our son sees ALL the people he Loves together for HIM! After all you’re not tying to make each other happy, but you ARE trying to make your child Happy. And, really what a great life lesson to show your child than how to be mature in the right situation.
I think a lot of people don’t understand that a broken home could have an effect on a child… COULD, but doesn’t HAVE too!
Recently, my son got into trouble at his dads. Now, our usual “rule of thumb” is: my house, my rules…your house, your rules!” This mostly applies to minor things like: Bedtime. His bedtime there is a later than ours…
( Listen, if you wanna deal with a tired, grumpy, emotional human the next day, that’s on you dude!)
But, when it come to values of HOW we raise him, we all stand together. He was grounded from his XBOX for two weeks. (Basically, a life time to our son) Remember, he only goes to his dads every other weekend, so this would have to roll over to our home. But, because we ALL want to instill good values in our son, we have to stick together! Structure and Values are more important to us all than personal feelings on a matter. Because, he IS our common ground.
Trust me, I get it’s not always easy! I mean let’s be honest, they’re our “ex’s” for a reason right?
But, no matter what the reason (or 3,000 reasons) your child was never the reason.
Being petty or using a child to hurt the other parent, does absolutely nothing, but hurt what you BOTH Love! And, added fun fact: It Is okay for their significant other, wife/husband…even just a boyfriend or girlfriend, to Love your child too!
”A child can never have too many people Love them!”
(Calm down Jealous Jan, and let her buy that toy he’s been wanting!) Your concern with their partner stop’d when you stop’d being that person. You’re concern is only your child. Do they treat them well? Do they love them? Are they kind to your child? If you answered no, that’s an whole other ball game, and I won’t touch that one, but if yes. Then that’s it, you’re good! Nothing else is your business!
I feel often people are selfish, when Co-Parenting. Your feelings, Your option, your wants, your needs… But, Co-Parenting isn’t about you! It’s about your child’s wants, and needs. No! It’s not always going to be easy, as a matter of fact sometimes, it’s going to be really hard, but remember Co-Parenting is just that: Parenting… Your Child!