You know that thing no-one wants to talk about, because according to society, it should not exist. Well, it does….and it’s okay!
It’s okay to not be okay!
Society tells us that “we are home with our kids, how dare we complain?!”
They say: “you chose this life, you chose those kids…” Yep! I have heard it all! But what I haven’t heard is… Its okay to not be okay!! Society tells us that we are supposed to be happy 24/7. Well you know what?
Society can kick rocks!
If you’re a stay at home mom, working mom… or you know what? Just a person.
It is OKAY to have bad days!! Bad days don’t define you. They don’t define you as a person, they don’t define who you are as a mother, or your ability to be a parent. They are just that….bad days!
I have been both; a working mom who worked well over 40 hours a week, and a stay at home mom, and you know what? Both are tough in their own way! Being away from your kids can be so very hard. Being home with your kids can be hard, too.
Being a stay at home mom is isolating and lonely. Talking to a toddler all day, everyday, is exhausting! At some point you start to lose your identity. You forget who you were before you had kids, before your life was consumed by so many things at one time.
I often hear people; “look at Lisa, she has just let herself go after those kids.”
Well, do you know why poor Lisa let herself go? Because, she poured herself….all of herself, into those kids. Lisa forgot about her wants and needs, and what she enjoyed. She dedicated her life to what her children wanted and needed…and what they enjoyed most! She started telling herself that she had no reason to look good anymore, no one cared. She stopped calling her friends because she always had her kids’ activities to do. She stopped buying her favorite thing because her child is obsessed with a certain cartoon, and she would rather spend their money on them, and see them happy!
She stopped being….Lisa. She became just a mom.
But saying you’re just a mom is like saying it’s just another sunrise.
She fell into that role, without even noticing it; we all fall into that role without even realizing we are….until it’s there. The loneliness, the isolation. The forgetting who we were before we had our children. And the second we let those feelings out, we are looked down upon; we are judged. We are told its our fault. It’s our choice.. and, we are told to get over it and be quiet; to stop complaining. Stop being dramatic.
Be grateful! BE HAPPY!
Well, you know what Sharon? We ARE grateful, and we ARE happy, and we DO feel blessed. That doesn’t make it any less of anything else either. And do you have ANY idea what courage it took for her to even dare say something out loud? To not suffer in silence on those bad days? To come to you to talk too? Next time your SAHM friend needs to vent… Let her, the same way you complain about missing your kids, and disliking your co-worker. She has the same struggles at home too. We all have bad days, we all need someone to talk to, and we all need time to reset our lives, our mindsets….our way of thinking.
So with the new year starting make a point to accept that:
It IS okay to not be okay!
Take your bad days, and tell someone, eat some ice cream and let it out. Be that person who is there for someone on their bad day! Be someones safe place. Be someones encouraging voice they just need to hear…..and tell every momma you know:
You’re doing a great job!!
With Love and Coffee,