Being a blogging momma, I have the chance to meet so many wonderful women, the best part, is that you get to connect with other moms that you normally, probably wouldn’t connect with, with different views, and options…. this got me thinking. A lot of you that read mt blog may not always agree with what I have to say…. So I decided to reach out to a good friend who is also a blogging mamma, with different views and ask her some options, on motherhood…
Meet Ariel, of Mermaid of the Midwest She describes herself as “a Midwest mamma, living that zero-waste, spiritual gangster life, while chasing her wilding, and loving her husband” Ariel is a super sweet soul, and always there when you need her.
Let’s get to know you a bit, before being a mom, what was your life like? Did you always want to be a mom?
I somehow always knew I wanted to be a mom, maybe not have three…lol. But, I always wanted to be a mom, and now having this big family, even though it’s not always easy. It’s definitely exactly what I wanted.
A: “At the age of 14, I was diagnosed with premenstrual dysphoric disorder and my doctor told me that I was a high risk for having endometriosis. She said that they would run tests when I was older, but having children would be extremely difficult. I lived my life assuming that I would adopt in my thirties after having gotten settled in a career, climbing the corporate ladder. At 24 I met my future husband. Neither of us saw ourselves having kids, especially considering I was told that it would be nearly impossible. I was settled in a job that would get me through my master’s program that I was just accepted in to and in the process of buying a house. We already started checking off boxes in our travel bucket list and were making plans for future excursions. We loved being able to go do whatever we wanted when we wanted. I was able to afford a brand new car and shopping trips. Going to the hair and nail salon was not out of the ordinary for me. So imagine my surprise when I saw two stripes on a pregnancy test that I took mainly for kicks and giggles.”
Being a mom, is rarely easy on anyone… What has been your biggest hurttle as a mom?
For me this has been, time management. In all forms. I am the worlds worst procrastinator, and that is detrimental as a mom of three. From small things to big ones all alike.
A: I have always struggled with feeling like I’m a good mom. Every night I replay how I could have been more attentive or patient or taught my son something. Especially when my son had an accident, I struggle with not being able to get to him fast enough so that he didn’t fall. Everyday I force myself to keep moving forward, but feeling like I’m a good mom does not come easy.
What has been your biggest success as a mom?
This is easy, the love for each other my kids/our family has…no one ever leaves or goes to bed without a hug and a kiss and I love you.
A; Raising my son with respect so that he may one day respect others. We never make him hug or kiss. We allow him to say he doesn’t want something and try to give him a choice when possible. We apologize to him if we were too stern or misunderstood a situation just like we expect him to apologize to us. We don’t force him to be unemotional. We teach him to love and respect nature as well as animals.
What have you found to be your least favorite part of being a mom?
The stress of knowing I’m trying to raise tiny humans to grow up, and be part of the world. I stress that I’m doing a good job by them in how I raise them, and the values we try to instill.
A; Balancing being a mother and a wife and also just me. It’s hard to make sure my son has 103% of my time and attention during the day and still have enough left for when my husband needs time.
I think no matter what back ground you come from, what you wanted, or didn’t want out of life, it seems that we all have similar fears, struggles, and successes when it comes to motherhood, if you could say something about being a mother, tips, advice, something you wish you would have known…. what would you say?
Don’t listen to a single piece of “advice” or “mom shamming” we’re all out here trying to do our best. NO ONE is the perfect mom, or has it all together, all the time. What works for one family, maybe won’t work for you, and yours. You have to always do what is best for yourself, and your family. Take everything else with a grain of salt.
A; Don’t be afraid to speak out. If you don’t want company, tell grandma no. If you need help, ask. If people are visiting, tell them to sanitize their hands. It’s your baby and your rules. You’ll learn real quick who is for you verses who just wants to hold a shiny new baby. Also, always follow your gut. So many people told me that a changing table wasn’t necessary and I was being unreasonable by getting one. My gut told me to get one. I\
ended up having a c section. There’s no way I would’ve been able to change my baby’s diaper without it.
Honestly, this was a lot of fun! I love seeing different views, and personal struggles of other mammas. To remind us we are not alone.
Make sure you check out Ariel’s Blog, for some amazing no-waste tips, and tricks, and some honest Motherhood moments!
With love and Coffee,
Becca Ann, with Ariel.