“I can’t wait until you have a kid, JUST LIKE YOU” -moms everywhere.
That dreaded statement, that I know all our parents said at some point to all of us… It’s all fun and games, until you actually do have a child just like you.
So here is the thing, my mother made these comments, (wishing bad ill on her own daughter, in my option…) but, she never told me how she was dealing with me. How she dealt with me as a child, & she never explained what I do with a little-tiny me!
Sometimes, I am sad that she will never meet my daughter. I know she would have loved her. I also know that she finds it very funny the attitude my almost two year old has. Just how much like me (I hate to admit ) she really is. I can almost hear my mommas laugh just thinking about her seeing this child when shes in a mood.
She never told me how I am supposed to react to a not even two year old, rolling her eyes at me, and saying no, like she is grown, and I wont fight her.
(Okay, I won’t actually fight her, but… I am not gonna lie, that thought has crossed my mind….at least more than once.)
She never told me what it felt like have your heart walk outside your body, and how you deal with not being there 24/7 to make sure they’re okay. As my oldest gets older, and older, he is more independent he is gone more with his dad, with grandparents..etc. While, I know he is being taken care of I also can’t turn it off. The constant mind spinning, of worry, and thinking of all the what if’s. How did she do that? How did she get through the ( I don’t even want to think about) teenage years, I am headed towards.
I broke so many of her favorite items, I am sad for her now. She never told me how she didn’t kill me. My middle son is the master of distruction. Pure chaos follows wherever that boy is. She never told me how to handle myself in those moments.
My mom taught me so much, I never asked the tough motherhood questions, and she made it all look so easy.
Not a day goes by I don’t miss her, not a day goes by I don’t ask myself “how did she do this” I guess the ironic thing is, she probably had no idea either. She just got through. Isn’t that what we all do though? Just get though the tough years, the hard moments, loving and raising our kids as best we know how.
If you’re anything like me, wondering…(and probably often.)
How do I get through this? Hang in there mamma!
We’ve all got this!
With love and coffee,