Being a SAHM has been amazing, it’s had ups and it’s had downs.. but, I can honestly say that I’ve enjoyed every moment. The good, the bad…& everything in between..
I’ve recently made the decision to go back to work; for me that means I’m looking at 55+ hours a week, straight in the face. Kinda like looking down the barrel of a gun.
Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic…
Being a mom comes with a lot of guilt.. I think it just comes with the territory. When I used to work, I felt guilt for not being here enough, then this last year, I’ve felt guilt for not providing for my family. I felt guilt for watching my husband work so hard, and so much while I was home. I felt guilt if things were where not perfect at all times, because I was here, wasn’t that why I was home?
Making the decision to return to work after a year of being home was not one that was easy, I’ll be completely honest. I’ve not even started yet, and I already feel guilty for not being here. Not raising my babies, having to leave them with a sitter… a sitter won’t love my kids the way I do. What if they don’t do things the way I do, the way my kids are used to, the way I want them done?! It’s a lot. It’s a lot of emotions, and feelings…
With that said, I know this is what is best for our family. I know being able to provide more for our family is an amazing thing. Something to be proud of. Being able to not make my husband have sole responsibility for our family, taking that burden off of him. After all, we’re a team, right?
Sure, it’s not ideal.. and to be honest, I know it won’t be forever, I battle with myself over these decisions. I remember being gone often, I have always been a working mom, until this last year… and that is what I plan to hold on to going into this. While there have been challenges, I will forever be greatly appreciative to my husband for this opportunity this last year. I know it’s not forever, and I know it’s what’s best for our family right now.
I’ll still blog, because I love it! I’ll still do influencing, because I love that too…& I’ll still be a good mom, because working or not my babies know I love them! That’s what I will remind myself. What will keep me going…
I think the guilt is common, and honestly it’s normal. Being a SAHM has never defined me, being a working mom has never defined me…. being a mom is what defines me!
With love and coffee, Becca Ann