You always hear people say..
“Never stop dating your spouse.”
Honestly, I don’t think I really understood that statement… Now that I am five years into it. I get it. I get how easy it is to fall into a day to day routine. How easy it can be to start taking things for granted. How easy it is to forget all those little things that made you fall in love, how you can forget those fist few “falling in love” moments momentarily.
Here is the thing…at least in my option. Its not that we forget them really, it’s more of all those little things, get pushed to side when bills, kids, and life have to come to the for-front of our minds, and lives. Which is why, I would have to say that I now agree with that statement. I think (again, just my option, and I am no expert) marriages, hit trying times, those “marriage ruts” when we let those things fall to the side too often or too long. I also think it’s natural however, for that to happen. You have to put effort, time and dedication into just about everything in your life, so shouldn’t you make sure you’re putting all that into your relationship as well?
Easier said than done sometimes though, I know.
I think too, we take that statement a little to literal. I don’t think you need to physically go on a “date” just to keep that alive, and going. While of course, you should as you can. Sometimes it’s just not possible as often as we would like. However, I think that doesn’t mean we don’t do anything.
Dating your spouse, can literally mean a pizza and your favorite Netflix show in your bed.
To be honest with you, this is mine and my husbands favorite kinda date night, while we love going to a fancy dinner, and getting out, sometimes, there is just something soft and comfortable about being home in PJ’s eating our favorite pizza and watching some show we can laugh at, talk about, and just have that one on one conversation and time with each other .
I think people, myself included am guilty of this.. put too much on the other things we “think” we’re supposed to be doing together, to stay close, or keep that “spark” that we forget about the little things, that CAN be done, to do the exact same thing.
I think we over look things a lot too. For example, maybe in the begging you use to do or receive a certain thing that was a “sweet” gesture, and now you don’t…. Look at it more of now its just changed, same loving gesture but in a different form. Like getting flowers to getting your morning coffee brought to you daily… It’s the same caring reasoning for it, just with a different action.
So, YES! I do think it’s important to “always date your spouse.” But, I think that we often take that statement too literal, and start missing what is right in front of us, and what we could still be doing… and probably are already doing.
Just my two cents on the matter, of course, I am in no way a expert, and I have too found myself in a “marriage rut” However, looking at it from this angle seems a little more realistic and I think you’ll be suprised at what you might actually be missing, that is already there.
With love and coffee,