Sadly, I have to admit, I have been staring at this screen for a week….
Where do I start? What do I say?
2019 was big year. By big, I mean it was loaded with ups and downs for my family.
I started the year out strong. I felt like I really had a handle on my life, my blog, and my social media was doing well… Then, boom. Life. My family, and I got thrown for a loop. I stopped writing. I told myself it was because I didn’t know what to say anymore, that I didn’t know how to talk to you all. Honestly though I just stopped being active in my life in general. Kinda odd for someone who enjoyed it so much, for someone who had built this awesome community. I found myself in a rut. Then it hit me… the reason I started this whole blog was to let other moms know they where not alone. I had removed myself the second I became the very thing I was advocating. I became the thing I didn’t want other mothers to be, to feel… alone.
I am here. Raw, messy and full of chaos.
I know a lot of people set goals, for their new year, and while that is wonderful, and I am all for wanting to continue to push myself to be the best version of myself, I can be. I think it’s important to also remember what went right. What I/you enjoyed. So, for me this year, I just want more.. I want more of the family time, the bonding the experiences that came out of our family struggles. As I mentioned, sure we had some rough spots this year… but when I look back, in those times, my family grew closer… this year I feel like my family as somehow shifted from “just being” to a different kind of bond that maybe we wouldn’t have gotten the chance to have had we not had rough moments.
One of the ups last year, we took a family vacation for Christmas. It was the first real vacation we have taken since before my daughter was born…(she is two, for reference) It was quite literily the best thing we have ever done. Our time was intional. There was quality to it. It was perfect. We left that trip knowing that going forward, while things may be looking better ,and better, taking the time to truly spend together, outside of the everyday, is something we plan to make a top priority. This year, and every year after.
Going into 2020, I am excited to create more…. more memories, more moments, I just want MORE!
Don’t let 2019…or 1999 for that matter… hold you back… Let go of the bad, and grip onto the good. Go out and search for more. Keep pushing, and remember you’re not alone. None of us really know what we’re doing…but we can do it together.
With love and coffee,